Realising when to let go….

I guess there comes a time when we really need to let go of the past……..

I guess today was my day…………………….

Things that no longer meant anything, I deleted, the pictures that brought tears to my eyes, I deleted, the friends that weren’t really friends, I deleted, the messages that no longer meant anything in my phone, I deleted, the emails, I deleted, the pages and pages of conversations from msn, I deleted…….

I guess there comes a time when we have to move on, for good…..

I always have the memories, the good ones and the bad ones. I just wish there had been more good than bad.

I downloaded a few songs, and well basically; lay on my bed and cried.

It’s time to move on, from tomorro; a new me. I’m doing what I want, when I want. I’m seeing who I want, when I want. It is my life and I’m going to cherish it. My friend was taken from me, my grandfather taken from me – their lives cut short. No one is going to determine my future or my life, no my mother, my father or anyone. It’s my life and from now on – I’m putting me first.

My mother sat with me today and told me; no one can decide which choices you make in life, no one can tell you what to do, no one can demand you do something. You are your own person and it is your life. Don’t make the mistake I made with your father, let go, before it is too late……..so I’m doing just that. I’m letting go of the past so that I can start to live the present. I feel sad, very sad, so sad that I may even get some anti-depressants to help me, but, my mother is right. There is a time when we need to just let go of everything that prevents us from real happiness….

Live life to the full.

So, I downloaded a few songs…….

Sarah Bennett – All of this past

Matchbox 20 – 3am

Coldplay – The Scientist

Breathe – Hands to Heaven

Boyz II Men – It’s so hard to say goodbye

Bonnie Raitt – I can’t make you love me

Five For Fighting – World

Sarah Maclachlan – Good Enough

Ladies……download and enjoy

Have your tissues at the ready – you’ll need them!

I have now just put on my sexiest dress that I own and I’m heading out clubbing! A first for me, haven’t done it in years, but I’m going out with a whole group of young girls and I’m going to have the night of my life!

Jesus, pray for me! I’m not right in the head, they are a crazy bunch! They’ve got me a man already – don’t know if I need those complications! But, casual sex is sometimes just what everyone needs!

Thank you to all

I haven’t had a chance to thank anyone, yet..

Well, I just want to say; thank you for all your KIND and HONEST comments. I appreciate all comments even those of you that disagree with some of my thoughts..I enjoy reading different views…

I started this blog, well, basically because of the mess my life was in, I’m glad I have somewhere to pour out my thoughts, I never thought anyone would actually read what I wrote! lol.. but anyway…….

So, yeah, basically; thank you.

One Tree Hill

I’ve watched One Tree Hill since the pilot episode.
I find it an absolutely amazing show, unlike other teen drama’s, this is much more intense, realistic and in almost every episode I can relate to something….

The music that is used in the show is absoutely fabulous- a song last season called; Collide by Howie Day is absolutely a must to get playing on your itunes!

I’m currently on Season 4 – I’m about to watch episode 19 and 20..

I’m interested to know if anyone else watches it and whether you know if there will be a 5th Season.

Leyton all the way!

New Forum……..

www.bchillaxed.runboard.com

I have literally just activated this, I know nothing much about forums but I’m gonna give it a shot and I may get someone to give me a wee hand………..

It’s going to be – anything goes…….talk about what you want…..when you want……

If there are any problems – email me.. my contact address is down the left side panel of the blog….

thanks

Mixxxxx….

Citizen Cope: This group are truly awesome, I heard them today for the first time…….. wonderful song called; Sun’s gonna rise… check it out……

Carrie Underwood – I just can’t live a lie – wow……….amazing lyrics

I suppose I haven’t listed my most played in awhile…..so..

Itunes – Most Played – top 10.

1. With Arms Wide Open – Creed

2. If Only – Jennifer Love Hewitt

3. Incomplete – Dru Hill and Sisqo

4. Promise Me – Jennifer Lopez

5. A Place In This World – Taylor Swift

6. Trouble Sleeping – Corinne Bailey Rae

7. Make Tonight Beautiful – Tamia

8. Love Takes Time – Mariah Carey

9. Lips Of An Angel – Hinder

10. Ana wel shoq – Myriam Fares

I’m just a girl……

I’m having a mid-life crisis, or at least, that’s what it feel like….

Does everyone go through this type of stuff in their mid-20’s?

I’m petrified of dying single, I have random thoughts running through my head constantly….when will my parents die? Are they proud of me? Have I done enough or should I have taken a different path? Is this the career I want?

I recently heard this song and basically it summed me up to a T.

Love it, truly, it is on my itunes 24/7 and on repeat!

Taylor Swift – A place in this world

I don’t know what I want, so don’t ask me
cause I’m still trying to figure it out
don’t know what’s down this road, I’m just walking
trying to see through the rain coming down
even though I’m not the only one
who feels the way I do.

I’m alone, On my own, and that’s all I know
Oh I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I’m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
and I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve
feeling lucky today, got the sunshine.
could you tell me what more do I need
and tomorrow’s just a mystery, oh yeah
but that’s ok

maybe I’m just a girl on a mission
but I’m ready to blow..

I’m alone, On my own, and that’s all I know
Oh I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong, oh but life goes on
OH I’m alone, On my own, and that’s all I know
Oh I’m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Oh I’m just a girl,
Oh I’m just a girl
Oh I’m just a girl

Why do we blog?

I truly believe that my blogging is an online journal, sometimes I don’t really care whether anyone reads it, it just feels so good to get all the things I’m thinking out of my lil head…….. it is nice when people reply and give advise or voice opinion and I appreciate that and it is also nice when sometimes people don’t say anything.

I started to blog because a lot of stuff had happened in my life and I felt that it was all in my head and that I needed to get it out….

Since blogging I feel much better, if I have a bad day; I blog about it, if I have a good day; I blog about it……

I know recently, since I returned home that is, I haven’t had much time to blog, but I am starting to again because as usual yes , problems have arisen! whoohoo! what’s new?!

Anyway, why do we blog? Why do you blog? Is it because you have so much to say but no one in your family will listen? Is it because your friends don’t ‘get you’?

Or do we do it just to see if we are ‘normal’ – to see if our thoughts and opinions, our worries in life are like everyone elses?

For me, I’m just trying to find my place in this world……

lovely song btw; Taylor Swift – A place in this world…

My itunes

Just thought I would post a little list of my top played songs and stuff I’ve been listening to this week..

I’m pretty much a girls girl, i.e. soppy love songs , but I do listen to many different types of music..

Music is my first passion in life and as a little girl, music pretty much ruled by week..  Violin lessons, singing lessons, drama and music society and of course, irish dancing. Yes, I am in fact irish, living in the middle east, I like the name leila and have in fact thought of changing my own name to exactly that..

So here’s my list of music;

Beyonce – Listen

Husain Al-Jasmi – Bawada3ak

Garth Brooks – Every now and then

Beyonce and Jamie Foxx -  When I first saw you

Mariah Carey – My All

Garth Brooks – When you come back to me

James Morrison – Undiscovered

Musiq – Who Knows

Musiq – When I’m with you

Outlandish – I only ask of god

Enrique Iglesias – Hero